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Three Not Very Hairy Bikers Head for France
(or Ls , Belles and a beau)


5/2/12

Sitting in my eyrie gazing at a snow-covered garden must be
the perfect time and place to start putting flesh on the idea of our French
adventure.
How is it that in the
space of a year we have gone from considering a 65 mile cycle to be a once in a
year major event to grabbing the chance to cycle from home to the Loire?
Cycling has definitely got right under our skin and whilst we have all enjoyed
today’s gorgeous snow, I feel slightly miffed that we haven’t had the chance to
do one of our little Sunday excursions..
Lesley is very good at spotting a chance to combine a long
cycle ride with family outings and jollies. So naturally when Shaun mentioned
that he was planning on another Le Mans
trip on his motorbike, her mind turned to“ how can we work a cycle ride in with
that?” It was but a short hop from that thought to “ I know – let’s cycle from
home and meet him there” . Simple.
So we made a few tentative first steps – bought some books
and maps and began to think we might just be able to do it.
The first thing we booked was a place to stay near Le
Mans. We knew we had to leap in to action swiftly on
that front as the weekend of the 24 hour race is the busiest for the region’s
hotels. So now we know exactly where we are going there are just a few details
to fill in along the way and many questions to answer such as:

-
Can we really share a room with Luc and his post
cycling feet,
-
How many pains au raisins/chocolats can we consume in a
day and not return home 10 stone heavier than when we started,
-
Is there a Green Flag rescue service for bikes or can I
just text Bev and rely on him to get me out of trouble as always ,
-
How do I square the circle of being in France
and trying to look acceptable with the likelihood of arriving in most centres
of civilisation looking like sweaty betty,
-      
-
Just what is the right balance of alcohol to
paracetamol to make one immune to saddle sores?

I also wondered about a few little sweepstake style
competitions to entertain our friends as we wend our way South. My first few
thoughts are:

- How many times a day will I crash because I forget that I
am attached to my bike,
- What will be the difference between our planned mileage
and the actual distance we cover?
- How many times can my legendary map –reading skills let us
down before Luc and Lesley throw me in the nearest ditch,
- Dare I mention the P word and how many between us? ( ie
punctures not hedge visits)


All reasonable suggestions for other competitions will be
considered. I am planning on each of us nominating incidents along the lines of
“comedy moment of the day”, “most attractive bonjour/bonsoir”, “crash of the
day” , “best sunburn/panda eyes “ and so on. You get the picture.

6/2/12

Route planning and training planning are coming on apace. I
am slightly concerned that my lovely maps of Normandy
and the Loire are missing a few crucial details like
contour lines and patisserie locations. We are doing our best to avoid places
which seem to involve the words Alpes or Montagne but I have a funny feeling
that our choice of Norfolk as our
home and training base may come home to roost as we glow our way up hill and
down dale with panniers full of vins and fromages. Training a bit banjaxed by
the weather so I ventured on a lovely snowy walk with Marley as a substitute
for a dash round the block. Several comedy moments ensued involving snow filled
ditches and Marley doing springbok impressions with me clinging on the lead and
having to make a swift choice between a face plant in slush or a hand plant in
a snowdrift…

7/2/12
We are planning to do our first longish training ride on
Sunday – to Kentwell Hall in Long Melford. Neither of us has snow tyres and I
feel there is a definite risk of permanent loss of extremities if the
temperature doesn’t climb a reasonable way above zero. Wearing 2 pairs of
everything works pretty well but there is a limit to the number of layers one
can wear and also expect some form of forward motion. Whilst cycling in cold
weather I set my brain on “idle” mode and end up producing Heath Robinson ideas
for, in particular, maintaining circulation in my feet. All I need is some
sticky back plastic, 2 empty washing up liquid bottles with the tops cut off
and a few milk bottle tops. (Or am I getting confused with the space rocket I
made in year 5?) .
I have just received the welcome news that the hybrid shoes
I ordered are now in stock and ready for collection. Sadly hybrid does not mean
that they have jet packs in the heels to provide extra thrust at crucial
moments. Apparently to the casual observer they will look like normal walking
boots while we are strolling around Giverney but beneath their humble exterior
they are in fact nerdy bike shoes which clip on to pedals in a scarily similar
fashion to the ones worn by proper cyclists. The potential for disaster in / on
my incapable feet is huge. I shall have to affix a HUGE sign to my handle bars
saying “FEET” at least for the first 6 months of their use. Now where did Luc
put his skateboarding knee pads?
Again , no chance of a cycle and certainly no-one could be
for tennis so Lesley and I headed off across the frozen landscape with Flynn
and Marley. I rapidly discovered that my wellies are as grippy on ice as a one
woman luge on the Cresta run so Marley and I did a good impression of lads out
at 2am on Prince
of Wales Road. It was a good chance for us to get
up to speed with the planning and try to work out the next steps as well as our
usual agenda of putting the world to rights and discussing developments in
unified field theory.

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